Screenwriting guide
Monologues for Men: 19 Original Male Monologues
These 19 original monologues for men give you something to fight for: a firefighter refusing a resignation, a brother behind glass, a best man hunting a lost ring, a farmer facing the auction. Comedic male monologues sit beside dramatic and seriocomic pieces, from 13 to 80s, each with a running time estimate.
Written and reviewed by ScriptLix Editorial
Monologues for men
Showing 19 of 19. All original, written for ScriptLix. Running times are estimates at 140 spoken words a minute. Time yourself out loud.
- ComedicMaleTeen1 to 2 minutesGood for teens
Parallel
Owen, 16, to the driving examiner who has just failed him. He wants to retake the test today, right now, before his dad finds out.
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Okay, so before you hand me that form, can we talk about the cone? Because I want to be clear that I saw the cone. I respect the cone. The cone and I had an understanding, and then the cone moved.
No, I know cones do not move on their own. I am saying the wind was a factor.
Look, my dad is in the waiting room. He took a half day for this. He wore his lucky shirt, which is a shirt with a fish on it that says "Reel Cool Dad," and he wore it in public, for me. If I walk out there with that piece of paper, he is going to say "That's all right, buddy," in the voice. You do not know the voice. The voice is worse than yelling.
So here is what I am proposing. One more lap. Just the parking part. You do not even have to get back in the car. You can stand outside and watch from a safe distance, like a scientist.
I will signal. I will check every mirror twice. I will park so straight you will want to frame it.
Please. For the fish shirt.
198 words, about 1 min 25 sec spoken (estimate)
- DramaticMaleTeen1 to 2 minutesGood for teens
Cut List
Marcus, 17, to his best friend Dev, who made the varsity team when Marcus did not. Dev has just said he will quit in solidarity. Marcus wants him to stay on the team.
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Don't. Don't do that. Don't stand there in my driveway and tell me you're quitting for me like it's some kind of present.
You know what I did when I saw the list? I read it four times. Top to bottom. I thought maybe they'd put me in the wrong spot, alphabetically, like maybe I was hiding under the Ts. And the whole time my stomach was doing this thing, and then I saw your name and it stopped. Because at least it was you. At least one of us.
You think I want to sit in the stands knowing you threw it away so I wouldn't feel bad? That would be worse, Dev. That would be so much worse. Then I'm not the guy who got cut. I'm the guy who got cut and took his best friend down with him.
We've been shooting in this driveway since we were seven. That hoop is crooked because you hung off it in fourth grade. I'm still going to be out here. I'm going to get better. And next year I'm coming for your spot.
So you'd better be there to lose it to me.
194 words, about 1 min 23 sec spoken (estimate)
- SeriocomicMaleTeen1 to 2 minutesGood for teens
Eulogy for Biscuit
Theo, 13, at a backyard funeral for his hamster, speaking to his parents and little sister. He wants them to stop smirking and take it seriously.
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Thank you all for coming. Dad, please take your hands out of your pockets. This is a funeral.
Biscuit was two years and four months old, which in hamster years is basically ninety. So he had a full life. He ran an estimated six thousand miles on his wheel. I did the math. He never got anywhere, but he never stopped trying, and I think there's a lesson there for all of us. Especially Ava, who quit piano.
Biscuit was not a cuddly hamster. He bit me eleven times. But he only bit when he was scared, and honestly, same.
Some people said he was just a hamster. Grandpa said that. Grandpa can say what he wants. Grandpa did not hear Biscuit run on his wheel every night at three in the morning while I was awake worrying about middle school. That squeak was the only thing in the house that was up when I was.
So now it's quiet. Which everyone wanted. You all complained about the squeak.
I don't know. I'm going to miss the squeak.
Ava, you can put the flower down now. Mom, you can say something if you want. It's okay if it's short.
199 words, about 1 min 25 sec spoken (estimate)
- DramaticMaleTeen1 to 2 minutesGood for teens
The New Address
Eli, 16, to his father, who has just announced they are moving again for a new job. Eli wants to stay and finish senior year with his friends.
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Can you just not unpack the boxes this time? Like, save us both the trouble. Keep everything in the garage, labeled, ready to go. That's basically what we do anyway.
That's four schools, Dad. Four. I know you know. I just want to hear you say it out loud.
You always say it's an adventure. It's not an adventure for me. It's a first day. You get a new office and a parking spot with your name on it. I get a cafeteria and two hundred people who already know where to sit.
And this time I actually did it. I joined things. I'm in the robotics club. Mr. Tran says I could run the build next year. I have people who would notice if I left. Do you get that? That's never happened before.
Aunt Carol said I could stay with her. One year. It's eleven miles from school. I already checked the bus.
I'm not trying to hurt you. I know the job matters. I know you've been waiting for something like this. I'm not saying don't go.
I'm saying let me stay. Just once, let me be the one who doesn't leave.
195 words, about 1 min 24 sec spoken (estimate)
- ComedicMale20s to 30sAbout 1 minute
Some Assembly Required
Darnell, 30s, sitting on the floor of a new apartment, to his partner, who has offered to read the instructions. He wants to finish the bookshelf himself.
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No. Put the booklet down. Put it down. I don't need the booklet. The booklet is for people who don't believe in themselves.
I have assembled this bookshelf in my mind several times. I know its heart.
Yes, there is one screw left over. That happens. That's a bonus screw. They throw that in to make you feel rich.
What do you mean it's leaning? It's not leaning. It's relaxed. It's a relaxed bookshelf. We're relaxed people. It fits our energy.
Okay, it's leaning a little.
Here's what you need to understand. When I was a kid, my father built our entire back porch with no plans, no help and one hammer. He talked about it for twenty years. "I built that porch." Every barbecue. Every holiday. The porch was his whole personality.
I just want one thing. One small wooden thing in this apartment that I can point to at a party and say, I made that.
Hand me the booklet. Don't watch.
164 words, about 1 min 10 sec spoken (estimate)
- ComedicMale20s to 30s1 to 2 minutesGood for teens
The Free Trial
Ben, 30s, at the front desk of a gym, to a cheerful sales rep. He wants to cancel the membership he signed up for in January.
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Hi. Great. Hi, Kyle. I'm here to cancel my membership. No, I don't want to talk about my goals. My goal is to cancel my membership.
Yes, I know about the smoothie bar. I have had the smoothie. It's very green. It tasted like a lawn that was trying its best.
I signed up in January. January me was a different person. January me thought he was going to wake up at five and do something called a "burpee." January me did not understand that a burpee is basically falling down on purpose and then getting up angry.
I have been here three times. Twice was to use the bathroom on my way to the bakery next door.
No, I don't want to freeze it. I don't want to pause it. I don't want to transfer it to a loved one. I would never do that to a loved one.
Kyle. Look at me. I have been charged forty dollars a month for ten months. That's four hundred dollars. I could have bought a treadmill. I could have bought a treadmill, and not used it, at home, in comfort.
Where do I sign? Don't smile at me. Just give me the pen.
202 words, about 1 min 27 sec spoken (estimate)
- ComedicMale20s to 30s1 to 2 minutes
Fourteen Index Cards
Raj, late 20s, the best man, in a hallway outside the ceremony, to the groom. Raj has lost the ring and wants the groom to stay calm while he explains.
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Okay. Buddy. Big day. Big, beautiful day. Before we walk in there, I need you to take three deep breaths with me. In. Out. Great. You're doing amazing.
Nothing is wrong.
I say that because I am about to tell you something, and it will sound like something is wrong.
The ring is temporarily not with me. It is somewhere. It exists. Rings do not vanish, that's physics. It is in this building, almost certainly, and I have a strong theory that it is inside the ring bearer.
No, not swallowed. He's four, not a goat. It's in his pocket. One of his pockets. He has eleven pockets. Your aunt bought him cargo pants for a wedding, which is a choice I will be discussing with her later.
He's currently hiding under the gift table because he thinks this is a game, and I've decided not to correct him, because if he knows it's important, he'll never come out.
So I need you to go in there, stand at the front and look romantic. I'm going to crawl under a table in a rented tux and negotiate.
I wrote fourteen index cards for my speech tonight. Not one of them prepared me for this.
204 words, about 1 min 27 sec spoken (estimate)
- ComedicMale40s plus1 to 2 minutes
The Technical Round
Frank, 50s, a contestant on a televised baking competition, to the head judge, who is staring at his collapsed cake. He wants to avoid elimination.
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Before you taste it, I want to tell you what it was supposed to be. Because that matters. Intention matters.
It was supposed to be a three tier lemon chiffon with a raspberry ribbon. Tall. Proud. A cake that walks into a room and people stand up.
What you're looking at is the same cake. Lying down.
It got tired. It was a long day for everyone.
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Frank, a cake is supposed to stand. But I would say, in my defense, that the flavor is all still there. It's just closer together. It's concentrated. You get every layer in one bite, which, if you think about it, is efficient.
I'm a plumber. I've been baking for eighteen months. My daughter signed me up for this show as a joke, and then I got in, and now I have a fan club. It's six people at my church. But they're very loyal. They made shirts.
Taste it. Go ahead. Use the big spoon.
And if you send me home, tell me it was the structure, not the lemon. I'm very proud of the lemon.
191 words, about 1 min 22 sec spoken (estimate)
- ComedicMale20s to 30s1 to 2 minutes
Floss Honesty
Jordan, 20s, in the dentist's chair, to his dentist, who has just asked whether he flosses. He wants her to believe that he does.
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Do I floss? Yes. Absolutely. Every day. Almost every day. Most days that end in a y.
Why? Is there blood? A little blood is normal. That's just the gums saying hello.
Okay, here's the truth, and I want to be honest with you, because you have a sharp metal tool very close to my face. I flossed last night. Before that, I flossed six months ago, the night before my last appointment. I'm like a student who only studies the night before the test. And every time, I tell myself, this is the year. I buy the mint kind. I buy the little picks. I put them by the sink, where I can see them. And they just watch me brush. Every night. Disappointed.
I don't know what it is. It's thirty seconds. I can run a mile. I filed my own taxes. But that string defeats me.
So no. I don't floss. I'm a liar and my gums know it.
Can you give me the lecture anyway? The real one. With the pictures. I think I need to be scared.
182 words, about 1 min 18 sec spoken (estimate)
- DramaticMale20s to 30s1 to 2 minutes
The Rookie
Captain Reyes, 40, in an empty firehouse kitchen, to a young firefighter who froze on a call and has just handed in his resignation letter. Reyes wants him to tear it up.
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Sit down. No, sit. I'm not reading this. I'm putting it in the drawer with the takeout menus, and in a week, you're going to ask me for it back, and I'm going to hand it to you, and you're going to throw it away.
You froze. On the stairs. I saw it. Everyone saw it. And you think that's the end of something.
Let me tell you about my first year. A kitchen fire, nothing big. I walked in, and I saw a highchair. Empty. Kid was fine, already outside with the neighbor. But I saw that highchair and I couldn't move my feet. Ten seconds. Fifteen. My lieutenant had to put his hand on my back and push.
I thought I was done. I sat in my truck that night and wrote a letter just like this one.
My lieutenant came out to the parking lot and said, "The ones who freeze are the ones who understand what's in there. I'd rather have one of you than ten guys who think it's a game."
I didn't believe him. Took me two years to believe him.
You understand what's in there. That's not a weakness. That's the job.
Shift starts at seven. Be early. I'll make the coffee.
209 words, about 1 min 30 sec spoken (estimate)
- DramaticMale20s to 30s1 to 2 minutes
Visiting Hours
Andre, 20s, on the phone through the glass in a jail visiting room, to his younger brother, who is starting to hang out with the same crowd Andre did. Andre wants him to walk away from them.
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Don't smile at me like that. Don't do the thing with your eyebrows like this is a vacation. Sit up. Look at me.
Mom says you got new sneakers. Two hundred dollar sneakers. Where'd you get two hundred dollars, Jaylen?
Don't. Don't tell me a story. I invented that story. I told it to her at your age, with the same face, in the same kitchen.
Listen to me. You think those guys are your friends because they laugh at your jokes and drive you around. They laughed at my jokes too. You know how many of them have come to see me in here? Count. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Zero. Mom comes. Grandma comes when her knee lets her. You come, when Mom makes you.
I've got two years left. Two years of this phone and this glass and this chair. I want to walk out of here and see you at a graduation. Not in here, on the other side of this window, with me telling you it's going to be fine.
Give the sneakers back. Tell them your brother said so.
They'll laugh. Let them laugh.
189 words, about 1 min 21 sec spoken (estimate)
- DramaticMale40s plus1 to 2 minutes
The Auction
Walt, 60s, a farmer, standing in his empty barn, to the bank representative who has come to set up the auction. Walt wants one more season.
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You can set your table up over there, by the door. That's where my wife used to sell eggs. Folks will know where to stand.
I'm not going to make trouble. I know how this works. I've been to six of these. I bought a tractor at the Lindqvist place when I was thirty and felt bad about it for a week.
I just want to ask you one thing, and then I'll get out of your way.
One season. Give me until October. The corn's in. It's in the ground. It's coming up good, better than the last three years. You can walk out there and look. If I get the harvest in, I can make the next payment, and some of the one after.
I know what the papers say. I know the numbers. I'm not stupid. I'm just old, and I've watched that field come back from worse than me.
My grandfather broke that ground with a horse. My father fixed every fence on it. My son doesn't want it, and that's all right. That's his life. But I'd like to be the one who decides when it's done. Not a man with a folding table.
October. That's all I'm asking. Then I'll ring the bell for you myself.
212 words, about 1 min 31 sec spoken (estimate)
- DramaticMale40s plus1 to 2 minutes
Final Timeout
Coach Lyle Brennan, 50s, in a locker room at halftime, to a high school basketball team losing by eighteen points in his last game before retirement. He wants them to stop playing for him.
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Sit down. Everybody. Water bottles down. Look at me.
I heard what you were saying in the hallway. "Win it for Coach." "Last game, boys." I know. I know you mean it. It's kind.
And it's why we're down eighteen.
You've been playing the whole half like you're carrying something heavy. Like you're scared to drop me. Every pass is careful. Every shot is a prayer. You're not playing basketball, you're playing a funeral.
I don't need a trophy. I've got a shelf at home with eleven of them, and my wife dusts them, and nobody else has looked at them since 2009.
Here's what I want. I want to watch Terrell throw a pass behind his back that he's not supposed to throw. I want to see Marcus take the shot from the logo that I've told him a hundred times not to take. I want to see you laugh on the court. I haven't seen any of you laugh in four weeks.
Play for each other. Play like it's the park. Play like I'm not even here.
If you lose, you lose. That's fine. I'll still remember this team.
Now go have some fun. That's an order. My last one.
202 words, about 1 min 27 sec spoken (estimate)
- SeriocomicMale20s to 30sAbout 1 minute
Custody of the Dog
Greg, 30s, in a divorce mediator's office, to the mediator, with his soon to be ex wife sitting across the table. He has agreed to everything except the dog, and wants the dog.
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She can have the house. I said that already. She can have the car, the good blender, the couch we fought about for three weekends at the furniture store. Take it. All of it.
But not Waffles.
I know he was technically her birthday present. I know that. But who walks him at six in the morning? Me. Who sat with him on the kitchen floor during the Fourth of July fireworks for two hours while he shook like a leaf? Me. Who knows that he only eats the dry food if you say "good boy" in a British accent? Me. She doesn't even know about the accent.
Look. I'm not trying to win. We stopped trying to win a while ago, she and I. We're just tired.
But when I come home to that apartment, I need one thing to be happy to see me.
Just one. Please. He doesn't care about the blender.
155 words, about 1 min 6 sec spoken (estimate)
- SeriocomicMale40s plusAbout 1 minute
Dad's Pancakes
Phil, 40s, a single father, at the kitchen stove on a Saturday morning, to his teenage daughter, who has barely spoken in a week. He wants her to tell him what's wrong.
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Morning. I made pancakes. Shaped like Mickey Mouse. I know you're sixteen. I know. But your mother used to make them like this and I thought maybe the ears would help.
They did not come out like Mickey Mouse. That one looks like a potato with ambitions.
So. Big week. You've said, I counted, eleven words to me since Monday. Four of them were "fine." Two were "whatever." One was "Dad," but in the voice that means "please stop existing."
I'm not going to make you talk. I read a book. Well, I read the back of a book. It said to give teenagers space. So here's your space. It's next to the syrup.
But I'm also going to stand right here and flip pancakes until you're ready. I have flour for, I'd say, three more days.
Whatever it is, I'm on your side. Even if it's my fault. Especially if it's my fault.
Eat a potato.
157 words, about 1 min 7 sec spoken (estimate)
- SeriocomicMale20s to 30sAbout 1 minute
The Attic Box
Kevin, 30s, in his late parents' attic, to his sister, who is ruthlessly sorting everything into keep and donate piles. Kevin wants to keep a box of ridiculous things.
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You can't donate that. Put it down. That's the bird lamp. You don't donate the bird lamp.
Yes, I know it's ugly. It's horrifying. It's a ceramic pelican with a light bulb in its mouth. But Dad won it at the county fair throwing rings at bottles, and he carried it to the car like it was a newborn. Mom made him keep it in the garage for ten years. And then one Christmas she put it on the mantel with a bow on it, and he cried. Real tears. Over a pelican.
I know what you're doing. You're being practical. You're going fast because if you go slow you'll fall apart. I know because you've done it since we were kids.
But I want this box. The pelican. The bowling trophy. Mom's terrible puzzle with three pieces missing.
Give me the box, Jen. Go slow with me. Just for this one.
152 words, about 1 min 5 sec spoken (estimate)
- SeriocomicMale40s plusAbout 1 minute
Grandpa Learns to Text
Walter, 80s, on the couch, to his college age grandson, who is visiting for the weekend. Walter has just learned to text and wants his grandson to text him back more often.
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Sit down. Sit. I want to show you something. Look at this. Look at my phone.
I sent you a message on Tuesday. See? "Hello grandson stop how is school stop." Your grandmother said I don't need to write "stop." I like the stop. It's very clear.
And you sent back a little yellow face with the tongue out. That's it. What does that mean? Is that good? Are you sick?
I've been learning. Your cousin Annie showed me the little pictures. I can do the thumbs up now. I can do the cake. I sent your aunt a cake for her birthday and she called me crying.
Here's my point. I'm eighty one. I don't need a phone call. I know you're busy. You've got your girlfriend and your exams and your band.
Just send me something. Once a week. A picture of your lunch. A word.
I'll send back the thumbs. I'm very good at the thumbs.
159 words, about 1 min 8 sec spoken (estimate)
- ComedicMaleTeenAbout 1 minuteGood for teens
The Permission Slip
Noah, 14, at the kitchen table, to his mother, who has just been handed a permission slip for an overnight class trip to a science museum. He wants her to sign it without asking a single question.
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Okay, so before you read it, I want to say that it's educational. That's the main thing. Very educational. The word "science" is in the title.
It's one night. At the science museum. We sleep under the dinosaur. Under it, Mom. Not on it. They're very clear about that.
Yes, there's a fee. It's forty dollars. But that includes dinner, breakfast and a flashlight tour, which is basically a class. It's like forty dollars for a class.
I know what you're going to say. You're going to say "remember the last trip." The aquarium was not my fault. That penguin was already out when I got there.
I've done all my homework. I took out the trash without being asked. Twice. I folded towels. I folded them wrong, but I folded them.
Please just sign it. Right there. Where it says "parent." You're a parent. You're the best parent.
Thank you. I love you. Don't call Mr. Hughes.
158 words, about 1 min 8 sec spoken (estimate)
- DramaticMale20s to 30sAbout 1 minute
The Spare Key
Daniel, 30s, on the front step of an apartment, to his ex partner, who has opened the door but not stepped aside. Daniel has come to return his spare key and wants to say one honest thing.
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I'm not coming in. Don't worry. I just came to give you this. The key. The spare. It was still on my ring with the green tag you put on it so I'd stop losing it.
I kept forgetting to take it off. That's not true. I kept not taking it off. There's a difference.
I'm not here to fix anything. I know that's done. You were right about most of it. I was working too much and calling it a plan. I kept saying "next year," and next year kept moving.
I just wanted to say one thing to your face and not in a text.
You made that apartment feel like somewhere I wanted to come home to. Nobody ever did that before. I didn't know how to say it while it was happening.
That's all. That's the whole speech. It was longer in the car.
Here. Take it. Be well.
153 words, about 1 min 6 sec spoken (estimate)
How to use it
- 1
Filter by age range and tone to find pieces you could be cast in today.
- 2
Check the setup: does the want make sense to you, and can you picture the person you are talking to?
- 3
Read it out loud twice, time it, and pick the one that feels most like a conversation.
What do casting directors want from a male monologue?
To see you listen and change. A monologue is half of a conversation, and the strongest auditions show the other person’s reactions landing on you. Pieces built on one long shout tend to flatten out. The ones here have turns: a coach realises his team is playing scared, an older brother stops lecturing and starts pleading.
Where can I find comedic male monologues?
Set the tone filter to comedic. A teen begging for a second driving test, a man assembling a bookshelf without the booklet, a patient confessing he never flosses, and a baking contestant defending a collapsed cake are all written for men.
How do I avoid playing a monologue too big?
Talk to one person, not the room. Place your listener just above the casting director’s eye line, and speak to them as if they are close enough to touch. Volume is not intensity. The quieter version of a desperate line often lands harder.
Are there monologues for older men?
Yes. Set the age filter to 40s plus for a retiring coach, a farmer, a widowed father at the stove, a grandfather learning to text, and a contestant on a baking show.
Questions writers ask
Are these male monologues original?
Yes. Every piece was written for ScriptLix and is free to perform.
How long should a male audition monologue be?
Usually one to two minutes. If the notice does not say, keep it under two minutes and time yourself.
Can I perform a piece marked any gender?
Yes. Pieces marked any gender work for anyone, with small name changes if needed.
Are these monologues clean?
Yes. Every piece is clean enough for a school or community theatre audition.